After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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