Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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