I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
