That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
