What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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