did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
