My brain says no but my pants say off.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
