WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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