And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
