some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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