At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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