Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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