Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
