You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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