I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
