I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
