I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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