eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
