im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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