Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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