Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
