You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We're too hungover to prance.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
