No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
