And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The power of my boobs compel you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
