But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
