Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
