Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
