Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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