the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
