you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
