I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
