I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
