White coat. Heels.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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