watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize