scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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