I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need water and some morals
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
