I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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