you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
