so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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