I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
