She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
