we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
