you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
