i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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