sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
