to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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