I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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