Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
