im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
