I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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