im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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