a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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