I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
