he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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