I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
