What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
