I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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