She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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