Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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