we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
