It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
