That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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