pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
